Tuesday, April 29, 2008

1967, wasn't the best year for most but the below is funny :)

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes
to his own car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FBI is called. Jack is
hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors
called in for

traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end
up best friends.

2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are
arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny
started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
Principal. He returns to class, sits still, does not disrupt class

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with A. D. D. and given huge doses of
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has
a learning disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives
him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in
foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's
sister that she remembers being abused herself, their dad goes to
prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.

1967 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.

2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug
Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles
appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for
a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

1967 - Ants die.

2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security,
and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI
investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are
Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her
She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of
therapy .